The Ant and the Grasshopper lauragibbs. The Ant and the Grasshopper. - ppt download

The Ant and the Grasshopper lauragibbs. The Ant and the Grasshopper. - ppt download: This is an ant.

To the Jenny.Melanie.Ritas of the World (and other overachievers)

“Furthermore, knowledge of physics is qualitatively distinct from [learning a language. Language is] acquired by virtually everyone, effortlessly, rapidly, in a uniform manner, merely by living in a community under minimal conditions of interaction, exposure, and care.” --Noam Chomsky

Have you ever met a woman that can conquer the universe?  You know, a strong, independent woman that sees a problem and immediately snaps into action as if she were born to solve it?  Imagine this.  You two go to a party and within moments of walking in the door, she has identified an empty food table.  She finds this…unacceptable.  Immediately she is speaking to the host, talking to guests, and on the phone networking.  Within fifteen minutes, she has located a handsome tablecloth that, to your surprise, fits the theme and colors of the party. In addition, she has located a vegetable tray, three kinds of dip, six bags of chips, and something for those who eat gluten-free.  While she is busy putting the finishing touches on a table setting (is that an ice sculpture?), you have taken off your jacket.

When it comes to language learning, I have also known people who take the same approach.  Learn a language?  Let’s do this thing and do it now!  For example, Benny Lewis, a famous polyglot, is known for his outrageously deep dives into language learning, getting lost in the world of communication partners, dedicated language websites, and deliberate study for weeks at a time.  Like a caterpillar chomping incessantly on leaves, he dedicates himself wholly to feeding and then transforming himself, eventually emerging from his cocoon with a basic level of language in just three months! 

Now, there is nothing wrong with this approach.  If you have three months with four hours of dedicated time every day, you too can try this method.  However, what I notice is that certain types of people (successful, overachieving types like you) believe that energy is the barometer by which one can measure success.  Since you are familiar with how sweat and tears have given you results in the past, you immediately suppose that learning a language involves some sort of information enema that is bound to hurt. 

Well, let me share a secret with you. Lean in and I’ll whisper it.

For those of you that are already expending your energy conquering the universe by being perfect parents, successful entrepreneurs, and bomb-defusing save-the-day superheroes, let me give you a simple, I-don’t-mean-to-insult-you language tip:

Calm the he** down!

Sorry.  I don’t mean to curse.  But really, it feels justified. Someone needs to tell you, and you are too busy with your ice sculpture to listen without my metaphorical shouting.  If it makes you feel better, you should know that I, too, am afflicted with the disease of believing effort = success.  Here’s my personal confession, followed by an accompanying tip.

If you have read my book, you’ll know that I battle with my lawn.  Besides my particular battle to convince my Bermuda grass not to die (I think it is suicidal), there are weeds that spring up in the rocky areas surrounding my grass, and the weeds spring up almost as quickly as I uproot them.  Because I am a self-described go-getter, it has become my custom to approach lawn care as one would approach war.  There are winners (me) and losers (the weeds), and only my sheer effort and careful planning will allow victory (freeeeeedom!)

On one particular Saturday, my wife watched me enter the house after defeating weeds. She noticed I was covered in dirt and victory.  She looked at me in that introspective way wives do, slowly sizing me up. For a second, I thought she was noticing my rugged manliness.  Alas, her assessment was not nearly so life-affirming. After looking me up and down, she asked me a simple question:

“Why aren’t you just spraying the weeds?” 

I tried to tell her that I had it all planned out.  I had labeled areas. I had organization. I had a shovel and buckets.  There was a process, and it was working.  I muttered a rather weak response to which she curtly replied, “Sounds like the hardest way possible to do something.”

I began to argue, but my wife is one of the aforementioned conquer-the-universe women, and I realized that arguing was fruitless.  Not just because of her personality-type, but because, truthfully, she was right.  I was working hard, but I just wasn’t working smart.  I had decided that passion and energy were required, rather than a more simple approach.  Spray the weeds.  Watch them die.  Remove what is left of them. Way easier. 

Sigh.

So, to all of you overachieving effort-laden individuals, might I suggest to you that language learning need not be so, well, hard.  An ecosystem, with the right belief, right approach, and right motivation, will eventually win out. I promise. If you need to learn a language in 3 months, sure, then maybe it is time to seriously focus, drop your online business, quit showering, and neglect your children.  However, if you have other pressing needs, then it is okay to have a less-intense approach.  Instead of a quick fuse, try a slow burn. 

For once, let someone else make the ice sculpture.

To learn how to create an effective, put-down-the-shovel, language ecosystem, go here

! 

Al Azraq

Note: I have struggled whether or not to share these posts at all. My concern is that the posts will be taken out of context, and might seem like a self-promotional campaign, even flat-out virtue signaling/glory-hounding. The truth is my university sent me on their dime to spend a few hours in the refugee camps.  There are other players that have made much more significant contributions.  Nick Sabato and the entire Education for Humanities team, including Perryhan Ahmed and Joanna Zimmerman, created this partnership, and they are moving quickly to help refugee camps throughout the world.  Alissa Nostas, Vincent Lauter, Ashley Garrigan, and Lydia Shatkin created the English course that we are putting in the hands of the Syrian students and teachers.  And finally, the spotlight truly falls to the students, teachers, and the NRC administrators who work within the camp each day to elevate the opportunities available to each person within the camp. The reason I am posting this as a preface is because I want to make it clear that this blog, although personal, is not intended to help anyone come to any conclusions about me, rather I am trying to help the camps come to life in the mind’s eye. 

Al Azraq

Dima and Ghaida told us that we would feel the differences between the Za’atari and Azraq camps almost immediately, and that proves true.  While Za’atari had movement and life, Azraq feels subdued if not clinical.  There are 6 villages separated by about a half mile, and even from far off you can get a sense of the strict community planning.    

You see, each village in Al Azraq was constructed before refugees ever arrived, and so there is an evenness, a sterile quality to the caravans.  They are in rows very much like you would expect if farmers were planting wheat.  Compared with Za’atari, fewer caravans are painted, but there is the occasional spot of color.  While Za’atari is bursting with refugee families, Al Azraq has unoccupied caravans, and in fact, one village is completely unoccupied.  Za’atari boasts over 80,000 refugees. Al Azraq is about half that size, with room for 120,000.   

When we first arrive, we wait outside the gates yet again and see the camp villages from a distance. An official comes from inside the camp to approve our entry.  The visit is cordial, and he welcomes us in, with the stipulation that under no circumstances are we to visit Village 5.  This immediately piques my curiosity, of course.  Why can’t we enter Village 5? I want to ask.  But prudence prevails, and I say nothing.    

A driver picks us up in an NRC vehicle and we are taken to the school. As we move along the paved road, with speed bumps every 80 meters, the contrast between the two camps is even more obvious.  I see the occasional child running about, but there isn’t the huge bustling of people. Instead of teenagers on bicycles, we see school buses that help traffic students from one village to another. The white caravans are so neatly aligned that Nick states that they look like what he imagines a settlement on Mars might look like. 

The reason for the differences between the camps is largely historical.  Al Azraq, built after Za’atari, was created in response to the mistakes made in the first camp.  The first camp, with its general lawlessness and sprawling organic nature, is difficult to maintain and manage.  Al Azraq, on the other hand, is a planned operation, and in that sense, is supposedly the new and improved version.  But I am told that the lack of life, the strict regulations, and the more military quality, puts all of that into question.  I have been curious to see if I will agree.

We arrive to the school, and it is refreshingly colorful.  However, the marks of Al Azraq efficiency are also here. For example, the main building, a row of classes, is all interconnected into a u-shape, with a single administrative building detached and positioned in the center of the u. Each classroom along the u is adorned by colors, and mural artwork and large lettering identify the differing classrooms: computers, hair styling, tailoring, culinary skills, electricity, and so forth.  Solar panels cover the roof of the main u shape to provide additional electricity, and there are several buildings just behind: a workshop for welding on one side, a soccer field on the other. 

We meet the teachers, Ali and Mohanad.  They are both anxious to share their views on the course, and you can see that they, like the Za’atari teachers, feel privileged to teach.  We also meet Almontaser, who serves as an administrative point of contact.  Like most of the Jordanians we have met, he is constantly smiling, good humored, and willing to share personal details.  After just a few minutes we know that his wife is from England, and that she has a CELTA certificate.  When I mention the TESOL certificates that we may be able to offer, he takes careful notes. 

After our meeting at the school, we hop into a truck and Almontaser accompanies us on a tour of the entire camp. Again, we see the marvel of organization throughout.  For example, there are drop zones for supply trucks, registration zones for new arrivals, and a surprisingly large supermarket (completely unlike the open market street we saw in Za’atari).

Our tour takes us mostly around the villages rather than through them, although to cut back to our original starting point, we drive near (not in) Village 5. Again, my interest is piqued, and I am hoping to learn something about this forbidden area.    

Almontaser, delightful and hilarious throughout, is somber as he describes it.  Village 5 is the starting point for any Al Azraq refugee.  It is a holding area, a detention center, a place where Syrians are screened for possible ISIS ties.  Many Al Azraq refugees come from ISIS-controlled areas, meaning that the possibility of ISIS infiltration into the camp is an overwhelming concern.  A screening takes place to uncover any family affiliations with ISIS.  The screening is costly and tedious, and often takes weeks if not longer.  Adults are more thoroughly examined than children, which unhappily results in the separation of children from parents. 

“When I first came here, I cried for days,” Almontaser explained. “It was such a shock to see.”

The shock he is referring to is what I witness next.  There is a chain-linked fence with chicken wire lining the top. Along the bottom of this fence I see patches of people sitting and kneeling.  A closer look reveals that children are on the outside of the fence, and mothers on the inside.  We slow down enough in the truck that I am afforded the chance to see one mother reach through the links to touch fingers with her young daughter. It is a tender scene, the kind that seems to slow down as you see it. The mother’s head is turned so perfectly to one side that it feels like a photograph.  

For a moment the scene rattles me, and I need to look away.  Something about the tenderness of such little contact between mother and daughter strikes me, and upsets me. Perhaps Almontaser notices, because he changes topics and becomes his jovial self once again.  He starts telling another story as the truck rumbles away from the scene, and the combination of the bumpy road and Almontaser’s contagious laughter allows the image to fade.  Once back at the school, we are first treated to a meal, and then we wait for Raed to finish his responsibilities so that we can return home. 

We are offered one more interesting moment while we wait.  Mohanad, perhaps the most articulate of our four teachers, approaches us and begins again to share his excitement.  His desire to hang out with us makes me feel he wishes to share more of his own personal story, so I ask a series of probing questions.  I learn that he and his family arrived at the Al Azraq camp at a time when the camp had no electricity and poor access to water.  His two girls immediately fell sick, and he worried.  In fact, worried enough that he planned an escape.  After just a single week in the camp, he was lucky enough to secure a temporary work permit, one that allowed the entire family to go with him.  They left, and when the time to return came, they disappeared into Jordan instead.  He found a job within a Jordanian city and began to build a new life with his family there.  He tells us that life there was good, but difficult, and he worked a job that provided them some amount of stability, although a far cry from the kind of job worthy of a university-educated professional.

Two years later, the Jordanian police caught up with him, and he was told his family had to return to the camp.  Shockingly, Mohanad says this without resentment.  In fact, he adds that the Jordanian police were very kind, and that he understood why he had to return.  With added optimism he says that the camp has seen vast improvements, and that by getting hired as the English teacher he feels he has the best job in all the camp.  The fact that he feels lucky is an instructive example of gratitude, and I shake his hands with newfound admiration before Nick and I board one last vehicle to return to the gate.  Once at the gate, we hop into Raed’s car, and head back to Amman.

As we take the one-hour journey to the hotel, Nick and I consider the differences between the two camps.  We are surprised to admit that, if we were to choose which camp to live in, we would likely choose Al Azraq.  Nick is a father of two young girls, and I am a father of four.  As we mentally place our families in each camp, the choice of energy versus security becomes a no-brainer.  We would choose the safety of the second camp, sterile as it is. 

On the ride back to Amman I get sleepy. Still feeling the effects of jet lag, I begin to go in and out of sleep.  As I start to fade, I continue reflecting on the mother and daughter, touching fingers, speaking to each other from opposite sides of a fence.  A Paul Simon song, Mother and Child Reunion, plays inside my mind.   

With my eyes closed, I catch images of my own kids the day before coming to Jordan. I see each image clearly.  My 3-year old boy wrestles me in the middle of the family room, convinced that this time, this time, he has the strength to push me over. The 12-year old boy grabs a pillow and joins in.  On the couch closest to this scene of masculine exuberance, my 11-year old girl is laying down on her back reading a book held above her in the air. On the other couch, the 14-year old girl casually plays with my wife’s hair and asks to watch a Christmas movie.  I see each image so clearly, and find them comforting me, nearly lulling me to sleep. But each time I am at the point of drifting off, my mind returns to the scene of the mother reaching for her daughter’s fingers, and Paul Simon rattles me awake.

Well, I would not give you false hope/

On this strange and mournful day/

But the mother and child reunion/

Is only a motion away.

like rows of wheat

like rows of wheat 2

me, Mohanad, Ali, and Nick

classrooms and solar panels

soccer field

welding facility

Za'atari Camp

Each country has its own rhythm, its own set of internal rules.  In Jordan, for example, a car moving at a slower speed will move over about half a lane to let you pass.  I found this a charming show of courtesy.  More surprising still is that, in Jordan, this courtesy is extended to you by the oncoming car as well.  That is, if you happen to not pass in time with your car barreling down a road at 65 miles per hour, don’t fret, you can be assured that the other car--the one moving toward you at 65 miles an hour--will also scoot over, just enough so that you can drive right down the middle of the road, flanked by cars on either side. That’s right: Two lane highway, meet 3 cars passing each other. When it happened the first time I found I had stopped breathing for a second, but it didn’t seem to faze our driver, Raed.  He simply trusted that the car on the right would move over his half lane, and the car bearing down on us would move over the other half.  And they did.  It was a disconcerting game of chicken, and one that was only possible because the driver in question believed that those around him were naturally hospitable and worthy of trust. 

And that is Jordan in a nutshell.  Hospitable and trusting.

Raed is an example of this. He is one of the managers of the youth program at the Norwegian Refugee Council (NRC), and he has a natural wit.  He tells outrageous stories with a wry smile--the kind of smile that has you excited for a punchline even before it comes.  He tells us about a trip to Bali he is planning on taking.  My ASU traveling companion, Nick, mentions that he has friends in Bali that could give him some objective information about the city.  Raed cuts Nick off.

“I don’t need objective,” Raed says, “I’ve already bought the tickets.”

He laughs and then we laugh.  The trip has been like this—everyone we meet seems to be willing to joke with us in the kind of familiar way you don’t expect unless among friends.  And maybe that is another one of the cultural rules here in Jordan.  Strangers ARE friends.

Once at the Za’atari camp, Raed has to convince the security guards that we possess the proper documents. Afterward, we enter a city-sized expanse filled with thousands of colorful, hastily-constructed concrete structures, not much larger than tents. These constructions, called caravans, are where each family lives.  Some are a drab white, but many are painted.  Spongebob Squarepants has been painted on the entire side of one caravan, and an Arabic phrase has been gracefully painted on another.  This kind of incongruity I see throughout the camp.  Two women are dressed in traditional full-length hijabs, for example, but the man behind them is wearing a Golden State Warriors t-shirt.  A man in a robe encourages a donkey to pull a cart, yet right past him are young boys with smartphones huddled near a fence looking for better cell reception.   A little further down the road and on my right I see a shoeless kid laughing and rolling a tire, but on my left, I spot a vast number of solar-powered panels. We learn that while most of the roads are dirt, the camp has been electric for the last nine months.

This constant juxtaposition is jarring and yet beautiful, and I am taken back by the energy of the place.  The market, which we see later in the day, is a perfect example of that energy.  It is a tightly-packed street of stores selling fruits, clothes, and housewares. Bikes, pedestrians, and donkeys weave in and out, as vendors stand passively by their storefronts smoking cigarettes.  We are told that the market is illegal, but the kind of illegal that has officials looking the other way.    

When we reach the school, we are greeted by a brightly colored multifarious construction.  There are a number of classroom buildings, each painted brightly, wherein classes are conducted for tailoring, a/c repair, hair cutting, plumbing, and electricity.  Our classroom, the one for learning English, has two rows of computers, and when we walk in, we are met with broad smiles.  Some students recognize me from the online videos and speak in hushed whispers. Later I am afforded a translation of their comments.  The students have decided I am more handsome in person than online.  I admit I am pleased.

A set of meetings with teachers, students, and administrators follow.  Mohammed and Khaled, the two teachers, tell us that students are excited and willing to learn.  Later, students tell us that they are grateful for the privilege to take classes online.  With administrators (Raed, Dima, and Ghaida) we discuss ways to expand our relationship and better meet the needs of the students.  After these meetings we go to lunch at a small restaurant inside the camp.  Ghaida pays for our lunch, and I notice she does it with her own money. 

As we sit down waiting for our food (chicken shwarama and fries for me), Dima and Ghaida, tell us about the camp.  Dima, a former badminton player for the Jordanian national team, has an economical style of speaking, and freely shares what feels like insider information. She tells of how a certain sense of entitlement has come over some camp members, a result she believes can be traced back to the job opportunities inside the camp.  Employment offers for full-time work, she explains, are often turned down because part-time work inside the camp is easier, giving the young refugees the free time and disposable income they want.  Ghaida gives us even bigger secrets.  She asserts that sex trafficking was once common in the camp, as certain parents were willing to rent out their daughters to unsavory men.  That practice has since been stopped, but Ghaida mentions matter-of-factly that problems with girls have continued.  One of her primary goals, as she sees it, is to give these girls more choices, choices that will help them feel less pressure to marry young (often at 15 or 16 years old). 

Overall, the life and movement of the camp is vibrant.  Teenage girls walk together conspiratorially, heads covered, but mouths moving.  Za’atari children explore, finding toys among rubbish, and toddlers pop out of caravan doors as busy mothers grab them back inside.   There are 12 districts, which strikes me as reminiscent of the book The Hunger Games, but the analogy doesn’t extend much beyond that.  In The Hunger Games, districts were divided and distinct, whereas the districts we see here are interconnected, and blend together harmoniously, albeit with a touch of unevenness.

That stated, the uneven touches I find give each district originality and identity.  For example, our school, located in District 10, displays two broken down cars right outside one of the main buildings.  The cars themselves would not be of much interest, except that residents have decided to re-purpose them. The cars are painted in wild colors, and have pots, pans, mufflers, oscillating fans, and other random scraps glued to them.  A set of drum sticks placed in one of the pots makes the re-purposing clear.  The cars now serve as a giant refugee camp drum set, and anyone who wishes to beat on this scrapheap musical instrument is invited to pound away at his or her heart’s content. 

This giant drum set, a result of unlikely circumstances, strikes me as the perfect symbol of the refugees themselves. 

Let me explain.  When thinking of these refugees, I am reminded of a particular phrase in Martin Luther King, Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” Speech.  King Jr., speaking in that pulsing preacher style that is so affecting, directs this sentence to victims of violence when he declares, “You have been the veterans of creative suffering.”  That phrase, creative suffering, always gives me pause. What did King Jr., mean by creative suffering? The phrase has long been ambiguous and confusing to me.  To start with, who is creative anyway…the victimizers or the victims?  If it is the victimizers, then perhaps the phrase means that victimizers are innovative, creative providers of suffering, or put slightly differently, victimizers bring about unique and creative ways to make others suffer.  I consider this possible meaning, and I see it in this camp.  Not only have victims lost homes, they have lost family, jobs, and dignity.  I am told that a man with a PhD in engineering is now fixing air conditioning units. Man.  This isn’t just suffering, it is creative suffering.

But I am not satisfied completely with this interpretation.  So I consider the second.  What if the phrase “creative suffering” refers to the victims themselves?  In other words, victimizers aren’t the ones that are creative, but rather, the victims are.  In this case, suffering has somehow turned the victims into agents of creation.  I look around the camp one more time and see the murals painted on buildings, the children playing with plastic lids instead of Frisbees, and timing belts instead of hula hoops.  And here I see yet another truth as I examine the phrase creative suffering.  While peering around the camp I see creativity rising everywhere. 

And it is in this second interpretation of creative suffering that I realize that the two cars are the perfect symbol of the refugees themselves.  Two Skittle colored cars loom out against the beige backdrop of the desert landscape, reminding me how refugees, in the midst of their suffering, transform misfortune into music, and drab despair into brilliant color.   

A Mural

Khaled, Me, Nick, and Mohammad

Donkey Power

Mural Up Close

Drum Set

Finding Refuge

In January, while writing down New Year's resolutions to determine what I wanted to do for the upcoming year, a picture floated into my head of Syrian refugees traversing across oceans, struggling to make it to safer shores.

Now, my brain often gets squirrelly like this, so I pushed the image out.  Surely what I really wanted to do this year WAS NOT traverse across treacherous oceans with Syrian refugees.  So I wrote down other things, like lose weight.  Now THAT's a goal I can write down in January and neglect by February.

But the image returned.  And with it came the belief that I should help out refugees. That's right, my brain told me that I should make it a goal and write it down.  Seriously.  And so I did what I generally do when my brain proposes ridiculous ideas.  I disagreed with it.

Oh silly brain!  How inconstant and unfaithful you are. How willing you are to go off topic and get me in trouble. Now let's talk financial goals.

But the brain persisted, and at this moment the heart chipped in as well, telling me not to judge my brain so quickly.  My heart's role in disputes like this is to support brain's most outlandish ideas. It tries to remind me of times past when it was precisely the crazy idea that ended up being fruitful.  Like when I was 32 and single and my brain told me to ignore the attention of several hot girls, so that God and the universe could provide me the girl I really wanted to meet.  Ignore attention from girls?  That was not my modus operandi at all.  How ridiculous.  But the brain teamed up with my heart and won out.  I followed the advice, and I met my future wife the very next week.

Good point, Heart! That's a great story.  But you'll also remember that in 2010, Brain told me to sell copiers for a living.  See how well THAT year of life worked out for me?

Heart stopped.  I mean, metaphorically, that'd be bad news if it were literal.  So I went back to listing out more boring, practical resolutions.  I wrote down a few, but I was bothered with the silent treatment my companions were giving me. In frustration, I finally put down my pen, and announced a compromise.

Alright, if I am going to help Syrian refugees in any way, than I am going to need opportunities to do so.  So life is going to have to send it my way.

That's a compromise I use a lot.  I call it, "send it out to the universe."  If I am uncertain how to proceed with life, but I would like something to happen, I often do what I can, as much as I can, and then see how the universe responds.  It isn't fatalistic, which in my view, means just sitting on your hands and letting the world pass you by. It is different from that.  It means that I do everything I can and simply see what doors open.

I wrote down the resolution.  It looked silly on the paper.  But that's one way of sending it out to the universe, isn't it?  And then I looked for chances.

The first came a few months later when my boss asked me to create a test for a pilot program for 10 students in Beirut, Lebanon.  They were refugees.  Syrian refugees.  Whoa.  What were the chances of that happening?

And then came another request.  Would I be interested in helping pilot an English course in Jordan?  The details were hazy, but apparently there are these large refugee camps on the border of Jordan and Syria, and for whatever crazy reason, Arizona State University led a coalition to see what kind of online educational offerings we might provide them.  When they returned, there was one clear request: Syrian refugees wanted English.

English, for many of the refugees, is access.  Access to information, access to education, and even access to other countries.  If their English is good enough, the thinking goes, they will be more able to get jobs in European or other host countries that might accept them.  English is a ticket.

Oh, I teach English.  I can do that.  In fact, I am quite qualified for the task. Wait a second, am I helping Syrian refugees?  I can't believe it.  I sent it out to the universe, and the universe responded.

I leave for Jordan this Sunday and couldn't be more excited and more at peace with my decision, except for maybe one thing.

Brain and Heart haven't stopped gloating.

Two fun technologies to play with in the classroom

Hi everyone.  Here are two websites I like. 

1. Make inexpensive inspirational quotation posters with ReciteThis.com.

They've got a lot of templates you can choose from.  If you have a color printer, you have a great way to hang inexpensive posters.

 

2. Here is an app that can help you if your class gets too noisy!

 

If you have trouble getting students to quiet down, now you have a way of setting a general volume in the classroom.

 

 

Sichuan Teachers

I love teaching teachers.  I don't know what it is, really, the collegiality, the fact that we have a sort of shared suffering, the fact that we understand each other's jokes, but I love it.  For the last five years I have had teachers from Sichuan University, from Chengdu China, come to visit at least once a year for about three weeks.  My task is to give them some insight into American educational practices and attempt to be a master teacher.  It is intimidating in a way, because there is a language, culture, and pedagogical divide that separates us in very real and important ways.  But I also think that divide creates some of the excitement that we all feel when we realize we aren't that different from each other after all.

Yesterday, for example, we celebrated the Chinese New Year.  Since my class starts at nine, and by cosmic coincidence, the Chinese New Year happened precisely at nine am, we had a countdown together.  Here it is.  I can't tell you how much fun I have, and how much I learn.  It is an exchange in the truest sense.  I feel more Chinese each time I train these teachers.  Even my wife, who is not the cultural adventurer that an ESL teacher generally marries, talks about visiting Chengdu. 

I want to see the pandas.  I want to eat hot pots.  I want to see the university. 

But mostly, I want to see my teachers and my friends.

 

Not Should, How

"It is never if or should we help others, but how..."

I hate certain facts about life. Here is one: pouring yourself into a thesis that only two people have ever checked out at the university library (p.s. one of those two people is you). Giving your all to teach students about pronunciation, to discover that their pronunciation DOES improve, but only in classroom settings. (Yes, there is a bit of research that suggests that we get false improvement scores precisely because students don't translate their classroom knowledge into real life--it is like students have TWO brains and the one doesn't communicate with the other).

But here is the worst of the worst: I call it digging holes. This is a reference from Louis Sachar's brilliant book about a boy who is assigned to dig holes, just to fill them up again or dig another. It is absolutely pointless work. And I HATE pointless work.

Let me give you my best example. I was asked to create a manual that would supplement a textbook used in Iraq. So far so good. This is a massive project wherein I am only a cog in the wheel. As part of this project, I was also invited to create videos to help spotlight creative ways to teach in the classroom. Again, no problem. However, what I had noticed from my previous trip to Iraq is that the more we gave to the participants, the more they believed that they needed more, and more from us. The U.S. Embassy in Iraq, for example, created large resource centers with hundreds of book titles and CD's, all state of the art stuff. One of the Iraqi teachers, who actually works at a resource center, remarked on the tremendous expense like this, "Why? Dust. The books just have dust. If I wipe my hand on the books, you see the dust. No one uses it. Why? No one knows." I can still remember the wave of his hand and the look of disgust on his face every time he said why. It was a stunning indictment.

And so I was given an assignment to contribute to these heaps of books that get used, well, not at all. This, of course, worried me. Like I said, I HATE doing work that doesn't matter. It goes against everything inside of me. So I asked around to see if I could work with the Iraqi teachers on developing the activities together. My reasoning was simple. The resource centers aren't used precisely because there is no investment. What I mean is that these teachers are being given ideas and instruments that are not their own, and told to use them. My idea was to learn exactly what the teachers do and what they need from their own viewpoint, and that this would guide my ability to write a productive manual. My idea also came from the idea that people who invest in something rather than have something given to them, will end up caring about that something. I know, I know, I'm sounding awfully parental/Republican/jerk-faced, but I still believe it with all my guts. I want them to be successful, and introducing info that they will thank me for with that condescending smile, and then simply never use, is not enough.

So, of course, I asked if I could collect information from others in Iraq. Discussions were had on the likelihood of teachers responding and how difficult it might be. The organization that hired me also mentioned time constraints and other issues at play. All fair points, truly, but my fear continued. Eventually, so did my solo work. Here, I want to be clear that I am not blaming anyone for this problem except me. I should have pushed harder. I should have made it clear. I should have written more emails to Iraqi teachers and demanded their help. But those dumb deadlines got nearer and nearer...

So I created activities based on what I thought they needed and how I thought they should teach. I worked in a vacuum and worried. Over the course of a few months, I completed over 200 pages of materials and about 50 minutes of video. It was some of the hardest work I've ever done. I really enjoyed it in a sort of twisted, sadistic way, and I'm proud of it.

But you may have noticed that that' s not really the point, is it?

And so now I am left wondering, hoping, that the books are received well. The shipment should arrive in Iraq soon, and placed inside every resource center. The books will then be put on display. And they will wait for someone to notice them.

Meanwhile, there are new holes being dug all over the world, but as for me, I have made a promise to myself. Not by me.

Dug any holes lately?

Lights! Camera! Action!

So I'm appearing in some videos. And they are cheesy! And pedantic! And I hope you love them! At the least, you can make fun of me for looking so ridiculous, although not as ridiculous as I looked as a 14-year old in this all-too-candid photo:

(So I wasn't the most attractive kid)

These videos are the beginning of a youtube series intent on training young ESL professionals to learn some of the basic tenets and practices in the field. It is my sincerest wish that you at least learn one thing while you are making fun of me.

Video #1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imtW2DUP1Zs&feature=player_embedded
Video #2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fX0599suj9A
Video #3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgOl54SYzI4&feature=related
Video #4: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLsD-bx_03I

Competence versus Performance

There were these three Korean girls. They walked into my college preparation classroom and I noticed them immediately. They were a great wall of frowns, a unified front, a testament to cohesiveness that for some strange reason reminded me of a cross-cultural game of Red Rover. They stared straight ahead, shoulders evenly spaced, and in a manner reminiscent of an unusually dour group of synchronized swimmers.

I began teaching in my usual style: all smiles and involvement. I shared how important it is that we become a family, and I shared how it was my goal to teach them that college was like a separate nation, with its own customs and traditions. I told them I would be their tour guide as we explored the boundaries of this new, undiscovered country. I was in fine teaching form, getting students to participate, asking them to elaborate on their own fears and understanding of college, and attempting to open them up to a new world.

But the three Korean students approached me shortly after class, single file.

"We don't need," spoke the shortest. "We only need TOEFL." The others nodded in assent. They were referring to the college entrance test given to non-native English speakers. This was a typical complaint, that my class wasn't preparing students for their most immediate need.

"Oh?" I said, "Well I will be teaching you a lot of TOEFL techniques that will definitely help you."

They didn't budge. "Only TOEFL."

For the next few weeks I insisted how my class would indeed help them for the test and beyond, but these three women (whom I grew to love, by the way), would sit in the back, arms often crossed, and refused to participate. A short time later, they began bringing TOEFL books to class, and they would quietly study. A time after that, they sat outside my classroom and studied their books during my classtime. I did my best to befriend them, but they were adamant. The test is what mattered. All other considerations were secondary. Their logic was simple and overpowering.

That isn't to say they were mean spirited. They even invited me over to their apartment once. Up the steps, past dozens of American apartments, I walked into a door and was immediately struck by the smell of kimchi and the sounds of k-pop. I was in Little Korea. I asked them if they were going to the American party downstairs. I asked them if they had met any American friends. No, only TOEFL was the reply. I believe they shared this as an attempt to brag about their focus. I nodded.

I learned that they had each studied anywhere from 10 to 12 hours daily, pouring themselves into their books like ascetics would the Dead Sea Scrolls. They had put in the work. I was so impressed with them. I still am.

About a month later they came to me with triumph in their eyes. They were holding sheets of paper. Their TOEFL scores. They announced to me that they had understood all along what path would lead them to victory.

"Teacher," said one, "We were right. And you were wrong." Such directness from certain cultures used to offend me, but it doesn't anymore. And anyway, in their celebratory mood, I didn't argue the point. You can't argue with smiles. I congratulated them and told them good luck. They all left for the university shortly thereafter.

What happened after is something I'll always remember. One of the students described it like this:

I went to the university class the first day. The teacher began talking and like you, really, with all the Americans talking back. I couldn't understand the teacher and I couldn't understand anything. When I did understand, I couldn't share my understanding. Five page papers? How could I? What could I do? I went home and I cried. This place is not for me. It is a place I do not know.

My heart broke for them when they told me. They had attained a level of linguistic competence that was well suited for tests, but not suited for the American classroom. All three of them dropped out of school within weeks. They arrived at my tiny school shortly after.

Three Korean girls came to my office, heads slightly bowed. Several of them began speaking at once, telling me their stories.

"Teacher," one smiled wryly, perhaps recognizing the symmetry of her remark, and said, "We were wrong, and you were right."

Another way to think about language learning is to discuss the concepts of competence and performance. Competence refers to the knowledge that we have about language, or as Chomsky states, our "idealized capacity" for language. Performance refers to the actual production of language in real situations. Often, I have a number of students who have learned language in the confines of the language classroom, and have studied grammar and rules almost to the exclusion of actual language use. In other words, I think many teachers focus too much on competence, and too many classrooms fail to create conditions for performance activities.

Language is a Pool

What does it feel like to be an international student learning English? I often ask myself that in some sort of impossible attempt at empathizing with their situation. What must it be like to walk into my class on day one? Let me give you an ordinary scenario of what it looks like on the first day of class:

Two students enter with smiles on their faces, but most come, one by one, rather straight-faced, as if they are skittish or unsure. They check their room information sheets before they sit down. Those that sit up front come with textbooks in hand, but generally the seats fill from back to front. A small cluster seem to know each other already, and for a few Arabic students, who sit in the far back, there is a sense that each seat represents a personal island. When they sit down there is a heaviness. One gets lost in "texting" immediately, which I have learned is a strategy to not make eye contact with me. Others are content enough to simply look forward and wait, but not necessarily at me. I wonder what they are looking for. Then it strikes me as symbolic: they are all looking for something. Their glances seem poignant to me somehow, and then a student near the front asks me a question and my thought vanishes.

I worry about my students. I worry about them a great deal. They come with more obstacles than the typical American university student, and the typical American student already has plenty to worry about. For one, there is the language barrier, of course, fraught with pitfalls and the inability to say nothing without sounding 5 years old. There is the cultural barrier, too (one of my students had NO idea what french fries were, and kept trying to order in English as he would in Japan. In Japan, when you go to a fast food restaurant, you can actually show off your mad English skills by ordering "fried potatoes"). And then there is the social barrier, which includes the sheer loneliness of going home to an apartment, doing your homework, and then turning on the TV. EVERY day. Not to mention they have none of the familiar social network or family structures that one might be used to (meals, calling up a friend, a way to do your laundry that makes sense, a hang out). As one of my students phrased it this week, "I miss being me."

And then, last but not least, how about the classroom culture shock? What must it be like to be speak in a language that you haven't mastered? What is it like psychologically to open your mouth in front of 30 others and just speak incoherent half-thoughts? What is it like to suddenly open yourself to a whole world of academia, opinions, and feelings with a group of strangers? Well, I think you end up feeling like Mr. Bean.

Mr. Bean, you say? Why yes, I do. I think he is the perfect metaphor for an international student, in fact. He has boyish hopes and ambitions, but an absolute inability to translate those hopes into the world around him. He is endearingly relatable, and yet he is aloof from the rest of the world precisely because he is so different. And, most important of all, he always surprises us for, despite all his deficiencies, being willing to attempt the foolish in order to accomplish his goals. In essence, he is willing to jump into the pool.

I think we could all learn a thing or two by being a little more Mr. Bean.

And to my international students, I salute you for your bravery. Even if it is going to take me to step on your fingers to let go of the plank.

Student Resources on the Internet

Have you ever wanted to have a pen pal and practice your English? Improve your typing speed? Get simplified stories for English? Here are my favorite student resources for self study!

Levels 1 and 2 are Basic, Levels 3 and 4 are intermediate, Levels 5 and 6 are Advanced

Typing Resources
1. http://speedtest.10-fast-fingers.com/ 1+
2. http://www.typingtest.com/ 2+
Listening Resources
3. http://cdlponline.org/ (California Distance Learning Project--great listening exercises!) 3+

4. www.literacynet.org/cnnsf/education.html (CNN simplified stories with quizzes): 4+
5. http://www.cnn.com/audioselect/ (CNN Radio broadcasts daily): 5+
6. http://www.npr.org/programs/lnfsound/stories/index.html (NPR stories) 4+
7. http://www.breakingnewsenglish.com/ (current events topics posted weekly): 4+
Speaking Resources
8. http://www.aitech.ac.jp/~iteslj/links/ESL/Pronunciation/ All
9. http://www.online-stopwatch.com/ time yourself for TOEFL or timed speeches! 1+
Reading Resources
10. www.literacynet.org/cnnsf/education.html ( CNN simplified stories and quizzes): 3+
11. http://www.usnews.com/usnews/home.htm (US News): 5+
Writing Resources
12. http://www.epals.com/ (pen pals through e-mail): All
13. http://www.freetranslation.com/ (free translation services): All
14. http://webster.commnet.edu/grammar/ (writing and grammar rules and helps): 3+
15. http://webster.commnet.edu/apa/apa_index.htm (guide for writing with APA style): 5+

Vocabulary Resources

16. http://number2.com/ (Vocabulary for GRE, GMAT, and the SAT): Level 3+

Hitting the Wall

So do you feel it yet? The after Thanksgiving blues? Do your legs feel heavy, your brain woozy, and your heart nearly give out by the very thought of entering the classroom come Monday morning? And do your students look at you like this? Or worse: do you AGREE with them?

Well, honey, it ain't just the stuffing. And trust me, you are not alone. While we can speculate on reasons, teacher and student burnout after Thanksgiving is widely reported in educational circles. I think of it as something akin to hitting the wall in a marathon. If you are unfamiliar with the term, hitting the wall refers to how your body feels after running your first 20 miles. However positive you may have been feeling previous to mile 20, when you hit the wall something happens to the body that simply can't be explained unless you've done it. But let me try in 6 brief sentences:

1. You can't catch your breath (but you CAN feel the tendons all the way down the length of your legs).

2. You can actually TRACE the entire shape of your kidneys in your mind.

3. You're thirsty but your stomach is sloshing with water.

4. All your senses are dull except for your ability to register pain.

5. You keep registering images after they have long left your view ("Was that a car accident I saw at mile 18?" you wonder at mile 22).

6. And above all, you just want everything to stop.

If you do stop, by the way, it is often referred to in running circles as "bonking." (A popular sports drink now boasts the slogan, "Don't bonk.")

And the student equivalent to this, as I implied, happens precisely on November 29th. Yay for today! And here is a peek at some of the results:

(P.S. This is NOT a class doing a sleep deprivation study. It's just a class. And NO it's not mine. Rude.)

Ah, the merriment of the holidays! Well, now that I have set this festive tone, I'd like to ask teachers how they overcome the "after-the-holidays blues."

And so in today’s post I ask a simple question: what do YOU do when you hit the wall? (Besides cry.)

Oh, and don't bonk.

(dramatization: no students were hurt in the taking of this photograph)

Which are YOU? Take the Pepsi challenge.

As far as I have been able to surmise, there are a lot of binary opposites among ESL teachers. Think of it as a Coke/Pepsi kind of a thing. For those of you that aren't ESL professionals, let me explain the difference and have you reflect which one you might be. Coke, or Pepsi?

Coke: (Classic, traditional) Some ESL teachers, for example, see themselves as primarily grammar teachers. To advocates, they are the keepers of the linguistic gate. They are the ones who have truly paid their dues and can, upon request, recite two reasons for the present perfect and the three purposes of the passive voice. They are smart (they do know the rules, after all), well-respected, and have tremendous influence in ESL circles. However, to the naysayers, these teachers move their way through classes like sharks hunting amidst a school of fish. Their focus is to eradicate errors. Their goal is accuracy, and they never realize that accuracy is a far cry from actual competent use of language. Who cares if you speak accurately if you have nothing important to say? And, one could argue, a knowledge of a thousand rules doesn’t really translate to real performative competence anyway (i.e. just because I read a lot of books about basketball doesn’t make me Michael Jordan).

Pepsi (Daring, new) Other teachers take the opposite approach. You might think of them as content teachers. They are those who teach away from the English language and focus on a set of skills or knowledge that they perceive as being valuable to the student. They might teach autobiography, history, resume writing, engineering, or nursing. They focus less on the actual form of language and move toward subject matter. To proponents, these are those who understand that language is a medium for communication, and that errors are simply part of any process to learn a second language. In short, they don’t care so much that students say something right as much as to say something meaningful. Risk and meaning are paramount: pillars of virtue upon which this method rests. To critics, these teachers are hippie feel-gooders with low standards and little understanding of grammar. If these ESL hacks knew the rules, it is implied, they would teach students about them.

Here is a metaphor to delineate the difference. In it, you’ll need to think “words” every time I say “clothes.”

I think of the first kind of ESL teacher as the kind of fussy OCD type that cannot resist the urge to organize a clothes drawer. If the clothes are out of order, how will you ever find them? They arrange by size, color, and function from suits, jackets, shirts, and slacks, all the way down to the sock drawer (formal socks go HERE, casual HERE, and sports HERE). Aside: my grandfather insisted that by safety pinning each pair of sock as soon as he took them off, he never lost another sock again. Such elegant efficiency appealed to the man. Anyway, these teachers are the organizers of chaos. They are the efficient, snappy dressers of language.

I think of the second kind of ESL teacher as the fashion conscious. This teacher doesn’t care so much about organizing the socks by type and function, rather this teacher thinks of how fun it is to be creative with clothes. This teacher will get out all the clothes, mess them up, play with them, and come up with an arrangement that is pleasing and original. This teacher will encourage others to do the same. The teacher will discuss how one might dress and for what purpose one might dress just so. This teacher is interested in trying to show students their own sense of style and that the whole reason for clothes isn’t for them to hang in a closet, rather clothes are for the wearing.


And these two different types, like a bickering married couple, tend to upset the other.
“Can’t you understand” says the first, “how important it is to keep things clean? Then you could FIND stuff.”


“Can’t you understand,” says the second, “that in order to find what I like, I have to make a mess of it?”


So which are you?

Pop Flies in the Sun

I have a friend, Kate, who tells about her son’s frustrations on a baseball team here in Arizona. The coach, a rather strict disciplinarian, has all the members of the team catch pop flies in the sun. A pop fly is, for those of you unfamiliar with baseball, a ball hit ridiculously high into the air. Pop flies are routinely caught by professional players, but can still cause lots of problems for the under-initiated.

This is because as soon as the ball is hit, it can seem to disappear into the sky and then, just as quickly, come hurtling back to earth. With the sun in your eyes, this difficult task can become nearly impossible. You try to shield your eyes with your glove, your hand, your cap, but the sun is ALWAYS larger than the ball. You try squinting or looking at a different part of the sky, but as the ball approaches you say, “To heck with this!” and brave the pain of direct sunlight. Since you are crazy enough to put your FACE between the ground and this seemingly meteoric object, you are absolutely certain that you are about to be bludgeoned to death. And just before impact, you have a deepened appreciation for a peculiar law of nature: staring at too much light causes you to see pitch black.

Can you imagine how you would feel if your coach actually MAKES you endure this exercise. On purpose? And not only make you catch one pop fly in the sun, but make a repeated drill out of it.

As I mentioned, Kate’s son comes home upset. “Coach made us catch fly balls in the sun!” he complains. He continues his tirade by expressing how it doesn’t make any sense, it hurts the eyes and the face, and he doesn’t see the correlation between burned eyes and actually playing in a baseball game.

It isn’t until game time, however, that coach’s seemingly cruel drills pay off. The team is in the midst of a crucial game. Kate’s son, predictably, plays in the outfield and, as is the case in Arizona, is facing the sun (inexplicably, this happens in Arizona no matter what direction you are facing). A ball is struck, disappears high in the air, and then descends upon our hapless player. He stares at the sun in hopes to see the ball, grits his teeth, and with the determined ferocity and tenacious hope that comes with practice, he catches it. This causes the team to burst into celebration. A crucial game is won.

Kate relates this story to the student/teacher relationship inside the classroom. The coach is the teacher in a classroom; Kate’s son is a lot like the students we teach. They tend to complain and to moan when they don’t understand our purpose, and sometimes even see us as cruel dictators intent on harming them. Sometimes, I submit, that is true (teachers can be a melancholic bunch), however, more often than not, teachers aim to prepare students for future contexts. Teachers, good teachers, seek to anticipate what the students need even before the students know it.

You see, teachers, good teachers, love their students. Burned corneas and all. And that is why I invite you to go out to the middle of the field and prepare to be bludgeoned. Just trust me.

Undiscovered Country

Anyone know what bulimic learning is? You can probably guess the meaning without too much effort, but let me give you my definition. Bulimic learning refers to the student body practice of memorizing facts exclusively for a test, then disregarding those facts (purging) as soon as the test is over.

Bulimic learning is the kind of learning most of us, I believe, were accustomed to in high school and college. We memorized a bunch of facts the night before, we regurgitated these facts onto the test paper the following day, and then promptly purged ourselves of the information we had just gorged upon. And just as someone who suffers from bulimia gains no nutritional value from food, so we gained no educational value from our classes.

I remember that in college, usually on Fridays, my friends and I would have particularly difficult examinations. It was after these arduous exams that we would pay a visit to the apartment hot tub and begin the process of "freeing" ourselves from the burdens of what we regarded as useless information. We would soak into the hot water and literally feel our knowledge melt away. Thus freed from such space-hogging clutter, we were left to ask those questions that burn upon the minds of the most gifted scholars. (Questions such as "Why do hands get so pruney?" and "whose turn is it to turn on the jets?")

"Ah!" I would think to myself, "I can FEEL myself getting dumber." When farting in the hot tub seemed funny to us, we knew our purge was complete.

My point in bringing up bulimic learning is to start a little investigation into true learning environments. Obviously, as a teacher, I want to encourage students to move beyond bulimic learning, and I think that this must start with me. I want to move beyond cramming my students full of irrelevant information, and I want to do this by giving them ideas that truly matter. And I want to find techniques that will allow them to care about this information and keep it in reserve for when it is truly needed.

One of the greatest problems in American education is the belief that a test proves students have learned. I think many people would agree with me when I say this, yet it remains a cornerstone of how education works all over the world. I guess this is because people are always thinking that there is no way around it. Maybe you, yourself, are thinking, "but Shane, what do we do? What are the alternatives?"

Well, thanks for chiming in, Sparky. That is an excellent question. What ARE the alternatives to this memorization madness? Gosh, first off. I don't know. It isn't that I'm opposed to tests, it's just that....well, I'll give some of my own ideas on in my next post. Remind me to tell you the pop fly story.

Until then, how about some of YOU tell me? I'll ask this question in a different way so that you can see what I'm fishing for. Could anyone tell me a story about a class where they really learned? About a class that moved beyond the words in a textbook and into the skills and ideas that currently shape who you are and what you do? Into that undiscovered country from whose bourne few travelers return?

Tell me about it. Let the ideas soak in the hot tub of your own brains (Seth, Abdu, and Sparky, I'm especially looking at you). I'll meet you next Friday and we can discuss. Bring your own towels.

Checkpoint 17

..........................................................................................................

I've made some friends along this two-month journey of mine. And I've made these friends in strange places. In particular, I am speaking of and to the soldiers at checkpoint 17, international zone, Baghdad, Iraq.


Checkpoint 17 boasts massive 15-foot t-walls on either side of the road and down the middle, making it look something akin to a large car wash as you enter inside and park. Sheet metal has been placed on top of these t-walls to complete that illusion. On either side of these massive walls, there are benches to sit down on and a tarp overhead to block us from the sun. It is there where we are patted down and asked to turn off our cell phones. Then we wait as the soldiers and bomb sniffing dogs examine the vehicles. Gigantic cooling fans are located just off to the right as you are invited to take a seat. It is austere yet bland, and the soldiers' tan uniforms fit right in.


There are two exceptions to the bland nature of the checkpoint. First, a massive mural entitled, "Peruanos en Iraq" (Peruvians in Iraq) impresses in both size and detail. Second, off to the left of the benches is another t-wall that a soldier has drawn on. This one showcases a portrait of Jesus holding in his arms what I presume is a soldier, his head tilted back as if injured or dying. Above this sketch, a caption reads, "Dios, perdoname" or "God, forgive me."

As you might have already surmised, these soldiers are neither Iraqi nor American, but from Latin America and Africa. The soldiers are deferential and efficient. Each day to the Al Rasheed hotel we pass through the checkpoint. The process is ordinary (if a process could be a color, it'd be beige too). Get out. Leave the bags in the car. Show your passport.


And then it starts to happen. after the first week I begin to see it: these half offers of smiles, these small words of comfort, "here you go, my friend." "No problem." "Hello, good morning." "How are you, my friend?" (Latinos always say 'my friend'). Within the second week there are several who begin asking questions. And upon discovering we are American English teachers, well! We are treated with a whole new level of openness. They are curious about us and curious about learning English. They ask questions. We answer. And we start to feel something akin to friendship.

One of the soldiers, Ricardo, carries a notebook with him. For a time he approaches me almost daily and asks me about certain words and their meanings in English. He is reading a newspaper daily. He often asks me how to say things I am at a loss for, but we negotiate possible answers until he is satisified and he scribbles my answers in his notebook. I find I look forward to the image of a soldier slinging his automatic weapon to the side, grabbing pad and pencil and shouting "teacher, teacher, how you say..."

And so we are becoming more and more familiar. In fact, one day a soldier is bold enough to call Kim "bonita," and she responds like a whip and gives him a retort.

"So do you talk that way to all the ladies?" she asks in crisp Spanish. He is embarrassed. He didn't know, he says. He is so sorry. She speaks Spanish? Her ability to respond has left him stunned and impressed. Later, each time he sees her he will treat Kim with what I can only describe as shoeshine boy courtesy. He smiles at her. He opens her door. He responds to her with a slight half bow, slightly hunched. His smile is winning and I think she gives him a look that lets him know he is off the hook, at least as long as he stays on good behavior.

And the other soldiers smile at us. Their smiles are winning and honest. Each day they venture more and increase in their boldness to talk to us. Some want to speak in English. Some speak to me in Spanish. They come one by one, like at a doctor's office, probably to ensure that the supervisor, who is at a distance, is not alarmed by our collegiality. They share stories about their own lives. They give email addresses. They ask us to stay in touch. They wonder if there is a place for them in America. Is Phoenix a good place to live? Yes, I say. It is wonderful. They light up like Christmas tree ornaments.

As you can imagine, I find myself more and more looking forward to the checkpoint. I look for Michael, the group's favorite Ugandan, to flash us his million dollar smile. I look for familiar faces and am disappointed when they are not there. I desperately want to take a picture, but realize the impossibility of such a requeest.

Two months later, on our last day through the checkpoint, I am finding it unexpectedly hard to say goodbye. These are men that leave wives and children behind for a year at a time, only to receive a short trip home before they return. They work long hard days in the long hot sun, and it seems to me that any sense of the normal, of the outside world is a welcome change to them. I feel a little guilty to leave them after such a short time. I feel like I'm one of them, in this strange way.

I think the best way I can describe it is that we had a sort of shared suffering, a bond of understanding that came from the fact that we were all strangers in a strange land. Regardless of the fact that we weren't from the same country, I always carried that sense that we were experiencing something together. We spoke of the dust and heat with disdain, we spoke of returning home to see our families. We talked of the foods we missed and what we would do upon our returns. We talked about possibilities, futures beyond the borders of the checkpoint.

In a way, it was as if the checkpoint weren't a place at all, but a place to imagine places. On a particularly hot day, one of the soldiers and I literally closed our eyes and imagined the beach. Mine was in San Diego. His was in Lima. We were anywhere but checkpoint 17.

And so we left just like that yesterday, and now I am writing in a hotel in Istanbul.

And so it was that on our last day of training, we shook hands with several of these checkpoint soldiers, then left them standing at attention, waving to us as we piled into the van and pulled away. As we bid our final goodbyes, I felt a genuine sense of loss as we watched them move out of our sights.

From within the vehicle, Kim and I both spontaneously put our fists to our hearts, an Arabic gesture we both learned while in Iraq. The soldiers returned in kind, leaving their weapons slung to their side, moving their fists toward their body, with their heads bowed slightly.

Goodbye, my friends.