“Furthermore, knowledge of physics is qualitatively distinct from [learning a language. Language is] acquired by virtually everyone, effortlessly, rapidly, in a uniform manner, merely by living in a community under minimal conditions of interaction, exposure, and care.” --Noam Chomsky
Have you ever met a woman that can conquer the universe? You know, a strong, independent woman that sees a problem and immediately snaps into action as if she were born to solve it? Imagine this. You two go to a party and within moments of walking in the door, she has identified an empty food table. She finds this…unacceptable. Immediately she is speaking to the host, talking to guests, and on the phone networking. Within fifteen minutes, she has located a handsome tablecloth that, to your surprise, fits the theme and colors of the party. In addition, she has located a vegetable tray, three kinds of dip, six bags of chips, and something for those who eat gluten-free. While she is busy putting the finishing touches on a table setting (is that an ice sculpture?), you have taken off your jacket.
When it comes to language learning, I have also known people who take the same approach. Learn a language? Let’s do this thing and do it now! For example, Benny Lewis, a famous polyglot, is known for his outrageously deep dives into language learning, getting lost in the world of communication partners, dedicated language websites, and deliberate study for weeks at a time. Like a caterpillar chomping incessantly on leaves, he dedicates himself wholly to feeding and then transforming himself, eventually emerging from his cocoon with a basic level of language in just three months!
Now, there is nothing wrong with this approach. If you have three months with four hours of dedicated time every day, you too can try this method. However, what I notice is that certain types of people (successful, overachieving types like you) believe that energy is the barometer by which one can measure success. Since you are familiar with how sweat and tears have given you results in the past, you immediately suppose that learning a language involves some sort of information enema that is bound to hurt.
Well, let me share a secret with you. Lean in and I’ll whisper it.
For those of you that are already expending your energy conquering the universe by being perfect parents, successful entrepreneurs, and bomb-defusing save-the-day superheroes, let me give you a simple, I-don’t-mean-to-insult-you language tip:
Calm the he** down!
Sorry. I don’t mean to curse. But really, it feels justified. Someone needs to tell you, and you are too busy with your ice sculpture to listen without my metaphorical shouting. If it makes you feel better, you should know that I, too, am afflicted with the disease of believing effort = success. Here’s my personal confession, followed by an accompanying tip.
If you have read my book, you’ll know that I battle with my lawn. Besides my particular battle to convince my Bermuda grass not to die (I think it is suicidal), there are weeds that spring up in the rocky areas surrounding my grass, and the weeds spring up almost as quickly as I uproot them. Because I am a self-described go-getter, it has become my custom to approach lawn care as one would approach war. There are winners (me) and losers (the weeds), and only my sheer effort and careful planning will allow victory (freeeeeedom!)
On one particular Saturday, my wife watched me enter the house after defeating weeds. She noticed I was covered in dirt and victory. She looked at me in that introspective way wives do, slowly sizing me up. For a second, I thought she was noticing my rugged manliness. Alas, her assessment was not nearly so life-affirming. After looking me up and down, she asked me a simple question:
“Why aren’t you just spraying the weeds?”
I tried to tell her that I had it all planned out. I had labeled areas. I had organization. I had a shovel and buckets. There was a process, and it was working. I muttered a rather weak response to which she curtly replied, “Sounds like the hardest way possible to do something.”
I began to argue, but my wife is one of the aforementioned conquer-the-universe women, and I realized that arguing was fruitless. Not just because of her personality-type, but because, truthfully, she was right. I was working hard, but I just wasn’t working smart. I had decided that passion and energy were required, rather than a more simple approach. Spray the weeds. Watch them die. Remove what is left of them. Way easier.
Sigh.
So, to all of you overachieving effort-laden individuals, might I suggest to you that language learning need not be so, well, hard. An ecosystem, with the right belief, right approach, and right motivation, will eventually win out. I promise. If you need to learn a language in 3 months, sure, then maybe it is time to seriously focus, drop your online business, quit showering, and neglect your children. However, if you have other pressing needs, then it is okay to have a less-intense approach. Instead of a quick fuse, try a slow burn.
For once, let someone else make the ice sculpture.
