Not Should, How

"It is never if or should we help others, but how..."

I hate certain facts about life. Here is one: pouring yourself into a thesis that only two people have ever checked out at the university library (p.s. one of those two people is you). Giving your all to teach students about pronunciation, to discover that their pronunciation DOES improve, but only in classroom settings. (Yes, there is a bit of research that suggests that we get false improvement scores precisely because students don't translate their classroom knowledge into real life--it is like students have TWO brains and the one doesn't communicate with the other).

But here is the worst of the worst: I call it digging holes. This is a reference from Louis Sachar's brilliant book about a boy who is assigned to dig holes, just to fill them up again or dig another. It is absolutely pointless work. And I HATE pointless work.

Let me give you my best example. I was asked to create a manual that would supplement a textbook used in Iraq. So far so good. This is a massive project wherein I am only a cog in the wheel. As part of this project, I was also invited to create videos to help spotlight creative ways to teach in the classroom. Again, no problem. However, what I had noticed from my previous trip to Iraq is that the more we gave to the participants, the more they believed that they needed more, and more from us. The U.S. Embassy in Iraq, for example, created large resource centers with hundreds of book titles and CD's, all state of the art stuff. One of the Iraqi teachers, who actually works at a resource center, remarked on the tremendous expense like this, "Why? Dust. The books just have dust. If I wipe my hand on the books, you see the dust. No one uses it. Why? No one knows." I can still remember the wave of his hand and the look of disgust on his face every time he said why. It was a stunning indictment.

And so I was given an assignment to contribute to these heaps of books that get used, well, not at all. This, of course, worried me. Like I said, I HATE doing work that doesn't matter. It goes against everything inside of me. So I asked around to see if I could work with the Iraqi teachers on developing the activities together. My reasoning was simple. The resource centers aren't used precisely because there is no investment. What I mean is that these teachers are being given ideas and instruments that are not their own, and told to use them. My idea was to learn exactly what the teachers do and what they need from their own viewpoint, and that this would guide my ability to write a productive manual. My idea also came from the idea that people who invest in something rather than have something given to them, will end up caring about that something. I know, I know, I'm sounding awfully parental/Republican/jerk-faced, but I still believe it with all my guts. I want them to be successful, and introducing info that they will thank me for with that condescending smile, and then simply never use, is not enough.

So, of course, I asked if I could collect information from others in Iraq. Discussions were had on the likelihood of teachers responding and how difficult it might be. The organization that hired me also mentioned time constraints and other issues at play. All fair points, truly, but my fear continued. Eventually, so did my solo work. Here, I want to be clear that I am not blaming anyone for this problem except me. I should have pushed harder. I should have made it clear. I should have written more emails to Iraqi teachers and demanded their help. But those dumb deadlines got nearer and nearer...

So I created activities based on what I thought they needed and how I thought they should teach. I worked in a vacuum and worried. Over the course of a few months, I completed over 200 pages of materials and about 50 minutes of video. It was some of the hardest work I've ever done. I really enjoyed it in a sort of twisted, sadistic way, and I'm proud of it.

But you may have noticed that that' s not really the point, is it?

And so now I am left wondering, hoping, that the books are received well. The shipment should arrive in Iraq soon, and placed inside every resource center. The books will then be put on display. And they will wait for someone to notice them.

Meanwhile, there are new holes being dug all over the world, but as for me, I have made a promise to myself. Not by me.

Dug any holes lately?

Lights! Camera! Action!

So I'm appearing in some videos. And they are cheesy! And pedantic! And I hope you love them! At the least, you can make fun of me for looking so ridiculous, although not as ridiculous as I looked as a 14-year old in this all-too-candid photo:

(So I wasn't the most attractive kid)

These videos are the beginning of a youtube series intent on training young ESL professionals to learn some of the basic tenets and practices in the field. It is my sincerest wish that you at least learn one thing while you are making fun of me.

Video #1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imtW2DUP1Zs&feature=player_embedded
Video #2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fX0599suj9A
Video #3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgOl54SYzI4&feature=related
Video #4: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLsD-bx_03I

Competence versus Performance

There were these three Korean girls. They walked into my college preparation classroom and I noticed them immediately. They were a great wall of frowns, a unified front, a testament to cohesiveness that for some strange reason reminded me of a cross-cultural game of Red Rover. They stared straight ahead, shoulders evenly spaced, and in a manner reminiscent of an unusually dour group of synchronized swimmers.

I began teaching in my usual style: all smiles and involvement. I shared how important it is that we become a family, and I shared how it was my goal to teach them that college was like a separate nation, with its own customs and traditions. I told them I would be their tour guide as we explored the boundaries of this new, undiscovered country. I was in fine teaching form, getting students to participate, asking them to elaborate on their own fears and understanding of college, and attempting to open them up to a new world.

But the three Korean students approached me shortly after class, single file.

"We don't need," spoke the shortest. "We only need TOEFL." The others nodded in assent. They were referring to the college entrance test given to non-native English speakers. This was a typical complaint, that my class wasn't preparing students for their most immediate need.

"Oh?" I said, "Well I will be teaching you a lot of TOEFL techniques that will definitely help you."

They didn't budge. "Only TOEFL."

For the next few weeks I insisted how my class would indeed help them for the test and beyond, but these three women (whom I grew to love, by the way), would sit in the back, arms often crossed, and refused to participate. A short time later, they began bringing TOEFL books to class, and they would quietly study. A time after that, they sat outside my classroom and studied their books during my classtime. I did my best to befriend them, but they were adamant. The test is what mattered. All other considerations were secondary. Their logic was simple and overpowering.

That isn't to say they were mean spirited. They even invited me over to their apartment once. Up the steps, past dozens of American apartments, I walked into a door and was immediately struck by the smell of kimchi and the sounds of k-pop. I was in Little Korea. I asked them if they were going to the American party downstairs. I asked them if they had met any American friends. No, only TOEFL was the reply. I believe they shared this as an attempt to brag about their focus. I nodded.

I learned that they had each studied anywhere from 10 to 12 hours daily, pouring themselves into their books like ascetics would the Dead Sea Scrolls. They had put in the work. I was so impressed with them. I still am.

About a month later they came to me with triumph in their eyes. They were holding sheets of paper. Their TOEFL scores. They announced to me that they had understood all along what path would lead them to victory.

"Teacher," said one, "We were right. And you were wrong." Such directness from certain cultures used to offend me, but it doesn't anymore. And anyway, in their celebratory mood, I didn't argue the point. You can't argue with smiles. I congratulated them and told them good luck. They all left for the university shortly thereafter.

What happened after is something I'll always remember. One of the students described it like this:

I went to the university class the first day. The teacher began talking and like you, really, with all the Americans talking back. I couldn't understand the teacher and I couldn't understand anything. When I did understand, I couldn't share my understanding. Five page papers? How could I? What could I do? I went home and I cried. This place is not for me. It is a place I do not know.

My heart broke for them when they told me. They had attained a level of linguistic competence that was well suited for tests, but not suited for the American classroom. All three of them dropped out of school within weeks. They arrived at my tiny school shortly after.

Three Korean girls came to my office, heads slightly bowed. Several of them began speaking at once, telling me their stories.

"Teacher," one smiled wryly, perhaps recognizing the symmetry of her remark, and said, "We were wrong, and you were right."

Another way to think about language learning is to discuss the concepts of competence and performance. Competence refers to the knowledge that we have about language, or as Chomsky states, our "idealized capacity" for language. Performance refers to the actual production of language in real situations. Often, I have a number of students who have learned language in the confines of the language classroom, and have studied grammar and rules almost to the exclusion of actual language use. In other words, I think many teachers focus too much on competence, and too many classrooms fail to create conditions for performance activities.

Language is a Pool

What does it feel like to be an international student learning English? I often ask myself that in some sort of impossible attempt at empathizing with their situation. What must it be like to walk into my class on day one? Let me give you an ordinary scenario of what it looks like on the first day of class:

Two students enter with smiles on their faces, but most come, one by one, rather straight-faced, as if they are skittish or unsure. They check their room information sheets before they sit down. Those that sit up front come with textbooks in hand, but generally the seats fill from back to front. A small cluster seem to know each other already, and for a few Arabic students, who sit in the far back, there is a sense that each seat represents a personal island. When they sit down there is a heaviness. One gets lost in "texting" immediately, which I have learned is a strategy to not make eye contact with me. Others are content enough to simply look forward and wait, but not necessarily at me. I wonder what they are looking for. Then it strikes me as symbolic: they are all looking for something. Their glances seem poignant to me somehow, and then a student near the front asks me a question and my thought vanishes.

I worry about my students. I worry about them a great deal. They come with more obstacles than the typical American university student, and the typical American student already has plenty to worry about. For one, there is the language barrier, of course, fraught with pitfalls and the inability to say nothing without sounding 5 years old. There is the cultural barrier, too (one of my students had NO idea what french fries were, and kept trying to order in English as he would in Japan. In Japan, when you go to a fast food restaurant, you can actually show off your mad English skills by ordering "fried potatoes"). And then there is the social barrier, which includes the sheer loneliness of going home to an apartment, doing your homework, and then turning on the TV. EVERY day. Not to mention they have none of the familiar social network or family structures that one might be used to (meals, calling up a friend, a way to do your laundry that makes sense, a hang out). As one of my students phrased it this week, "I miss being me."

And then, last but not least, how about the classroom culture shock? What must it be like to be speak in a language that you haven't mastered? What is it like psychologically to open your mouth in front of 30 others and just speak incoherent half-thoughts? What is it like to suddenly open yourself to a whole world of academia, opinions, and feelings with a group of strangers? Well, I think you end up feeling like Mr. Bean.

Mr. Bean, you say? Why yes, I do. I think he is the perfect metaphor for an international student, in fact. He has boyish hopes and ambitions, but an absolute inability to translate those hopes into the world around him. He is endearingly relatable, and yet he is aloof from the rest of the world precisely because he is so different. And, most important of all, he always surprises us for, despite all his deficiencies, being willing to attempt the foolish in order to accomplish his goals. In essence, he is willing to jump into the pool.

I think we could all learn a thing or two by being a little more Mr. Bean.

And to my international students, I salute you for your bravery. Even if it is going to take me to step on your fingers to let go of the plank.

Student Resources on the Internet

Have you ever wanted to have a pen pal and practice your English? Improve your typing speed? Get simplified stories for English? Here are my favorite student resources for self study!

Levels 1 and 2 are Basic, Levels 3 and 4 are intermediate, Levels 5 and 6 are Advanced

Typing Resources
1. http://speedtest.10-fast-fingers.com/ 1+
2. http://www.typingtest.com/ 2+
Listening Resources
3. http://cdlponline.org/ (California Distance Learning Project--great listening exercises!) 3+

4. www.literacynet.org/cnnsf/education.html (CNN simplified stories with quizzes): 4+
5. http://www.cnn.com/audioselect/ (CNN Radio broadcasts daily): 5+
6. http://www.npr.org/programs/lnfsound/stories/index.html (NPR stories) 4+
7. http://www.breakingnewsenglish.com/ (current events topics posted weekly): 4+
Speaking Resources
8. http://www.aitech.ac.jp/~iteslj/links/ESL/Pronunciation/ All
9. http://www.online-stopwatch.com/ time yourself for TOEFL or timed speeches! 1+
Reading Resources
10. www.literacynet.org/cnnsf/education.html ( CNN simplified stories and quizzes): 3+
11. http://www.usnews.com/usnews/home.htm (US News): 5+
Writing Resources
12. http://www.epals.com/ (pen pals through e-mail): All
13. http://www.freetranslation.com/ (free translation services): All
14. http://webster.commnet.edu/grammar/ (writing and grammar rules and helps): 3+
15. http://webster.commnet.edu/apa/apa_index.htm (guide for writing with APA style): 5+

Vocabulary Resources

16. http://number2.com/ (Vocabulary for GRE, GMAT, and the SAT): Level 3+